


Barriers

by Nocturnal



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 10:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4260138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal/pseuds/Nocturnal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Izaya suffers from Asperger's Syndrome. His social awkwardness, obsessive behavior, eating habits and overall way of life are dictated by this. In particular his love for humanity is an outcome of honing social skills through great effort so as to stand others. </p>
<p>Kadota begins to take an interest in Izaya and little by little unravels the truth behind Izaya. </p>
<p>Dialogue intensive fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

People, human beings, homo sapiens: there was no shortage of these in Tokyo and each and every last one was a barrier to Orihara Izaya. They were as so many atoms randomly assembled and dangerous in their unpredictability. Izaya often thought of them like virtual particles: mysterious and highly complex in their behavior that could not be comprehended. As he stood on the windy top of a skyscraper and looked down he could discern order. Seen from above the largest intersection of the road was a mechanism of beautifully calibrated movement.

Masses of people flowed in a rhythm. Green lights ignited a human tide, red lights stopped it. Izaya loved this vantage point because it conferred an interpretative grid on chaos. It made visible a pattern and once Izaya was aware of it he could follow it to a place of security. The entire city could be translated as a series of vectors and Izaya thought that if he could but gain a higher position he could see how it was an all- encompassing vector that could be properly understood.

Izaya hungered for knowledge as a way to bypass his inborn handicap. At first, when the world was swirling confusion, he sought refuge in his mind. As a child he had realized that he needed to tackle the panicky feeling of menace by thandling it in a way that suited him. And that could only be achieved by employing his reasoning powers on the outer reality instead of keeping them as a security blanket.

He had taken the advice of his doctors and devoured books upon books on sociology, psychology, anthropology. It was a relief to find a structure of knowledge readily accessible and cataloged. Izaya used it to the fullest, researching with all his might and slowly but surely gaining a foothold on reality. While other kids were busy playing Izaya delved in material that went way beyond his young years. But he ingeniously kept this hidden from his peers.

Izaya realized very early on that letting others find out about his condition was a weakness he could not afford. He knew that to become who he wanted to be he had to eliminate chinks in his armor by projecting a flawless façade. More, Izaya had to make it all seem effortless for he could not accept compassion or even sympathy. Izaya did not want to fit in he wanted to be on top of everyone else.

He chose to face his issues that he studied at length as a challenge more than a shortcoming. Izaya had trained himself to that effect. The school system worked to his advantage, the experiments in socialization that he undertook in middle school would not be known to the greater stage that was high school so he was free to try many different things without being overly concerned about future repercussions.

Izaya learned how to always look people in the eye and little by little developed a smooth talk and suave interaction that carried him far. But he still carried marks of his condition as he called it, he simply incorporated them into his style. His silver rings, always the same and placed in the same fingers, the well fitted black clothes and his fur fringed jacket: all of it very hip and part of a reassuring routine. He still enjoyed long periods of solitude on occasion, his personal items were neatly organized to the point of obsession and the innermost sanctum of his home, the bedroom, was off limits to everyone. He had pinned down the collective schedule of Ikebukuro and the individual ones of its major players so that he could always know where they were at any given point. Izaya scouted the streets at recurring intervals that only he knew of and according to an inner logic by avoiding prime numbered hours.

The world was a chess board, time was its squares.

He ate according to a never altering system that he could not help but obey. So long as he was aware of these unquestionable rules he remained in control. Knowing that they existed and understanding why it was so allowed him not to be lost or in subjugation to them. A million quirks defined him.

All and all, the closer he became to unlocking the riddle of human nature the more he overcame himself and climbed another step in a ladder toward supremacy. Izaya thought that he was well shored and perfectly assured in his abilities to bridge the gap and reign supreme.

*

Orihara Izaya was about to be proven wrong.

One of his skills was of course knowing precisely what kind of reaction he could invoke from people. It was believed that Izaya was annoying for the purpose of putting people ill at ease but it was something of a misunderstanding. He did not approach everyone in the same way, it was part of his method to always interact based on a personal assessment of the person in question. Even if all he had to go was appearance or a screen name. Everything was information as long as one knew how to dissect it. And Izaya made a point out of always zeroing in on that.

By knowing how people would react he made them predictable and thus reassured his ability to overcome issues and always come on top. The one that could connect the many dots and read order through apparent chaos was the winner by default. And that was precisely who he needed to be.

*

“Say, about Izaya…”

Shizuo snorted loudly at the name.

“Filthy louse. Hate his guts.”

Kadota sighed but kept on going through his notebook.

“I’ve been wondering, doesn’t he always come ‘round about the same times?”

“No idea.”

“Try to remember. You always know when he drops by Ikebukuro, don’t you?”

Shizuo frowned slightly and chewed on the steak in front of him.  
“I guess…yeah, now that you mention it. Fucking flea.”

It had become such a habit to attach insults to any mention of Izaya’s name that Shizuo did so even when it had no connection to whatever was being said. Kadota nodded and showed him the neatly filled notebook.

“Here. What do you make of it?”

“Dunno.”

“I’ve been asking around town and there is a pattern to Izaya. He appears at specific times. Almost as if he has a log of sorts.”

Shizuo shrugged.

“He’s a weirdo anyway. Creepy, too. But I dunno about that, I see him all the bloody time. Morning, noon, afternoon, all the bloody time.”

Kadota nodded.

“That’s just it, the pattern is sort of hidden. Takes a while to break it down. But for example, when did he appear today?”

“At ten. Thought I’d have a break after work but no, fucking Izaya had to screw it up for me.”

Kadota’s interest in Izaya’s zany personality had become something of an unlikely hobby. He was curious about such a power player and that Shizuo had a history with Izaya made him even more curious. He had realized that in asking about Izaya Shizuo’s memory was the most reliable. Shizuo nurtured such a hatred that he seemed to remember every single thing about his object of profound loathing. It was one of the strangest things Kadota had ever seen.

“And today is Friday. Yesterday, what time did he drop by?”

“Nine.”

Kadota scribbled on his notepad.

“And the day before?”

“Eight”

“And the day before that?”

“Six.”

“And the day before that, that’d be Monday.”

“Four.”

Kadota scribbled madly.

“See, there is a pattern. Monday, four; Tuesday six; Wednesday eight; Thursday nine; Friday twelve. There’s almost a chronological order to it…but something is still missing.”

Shizuo peered at Kadota’s neat handwriting.

“I guess. Never noticed it.”

“But he skips a few. Is there a logic to it…four, six, eight, nine, twelve. But he could be counting them as sixteen, eighteen, twenty, twenty one, zero. Hmm…”

Shizuo took a sip of strawberry milkshake.

“He’s annoying other people in the hours between. Fucking hate him.”

Kadota got up.

“That’s it!”

“Huh?”

“If you forget the zero for midnight, the numbers he is skipping are prime numbers. Five, seven, ten! Or seventeen, nineteen! The zero is a wildcard so it doesn’t count but this can’t be a coincidence.”

“Ya making my head hurt.”

But Kadota knew he was on to something.

“The question is why. What is it about prime numbers? Some symbolic meaning? Or maybe it’s part of an even greater pattern. Maybe there is some sort of code? But why? If there is, what is the point? Maybe to gloat at the fact that no one seems to even notice let alone crack it?”

“Yeah, I bet that’s it. That’s what a smartass like him he’d do. Thinks he’s so bloody smart.”

*

Kadota was both thrilled and more curious than ever about Izaya. He was sure that no one had figured this surprising pattern but Kadota was very aware of how incomplete it was. He needed directly acquired information, as Izaya would phrase it. It entailed following Izaya.

But Kadota knew how problematic this was. Tailing Izaya was not easy and as tempted as Kadota was to employ the crazy pair of Erika and Walker he did not think it was all that wise. As Kadota pondered his options there was another person whose thoughts turned to the informant.

Simon had been very surprised at finding out that Izaya was fluent in Russian. There was something uncannily creepy in veiled threats in one’s own language. Simon could not shake the feeling that Izaya had bothered to learn it, Cyrillic and all, for the sole purpose of shaking him up. Since then he had spotted Izaya speaking in Italian to immigrants, in what sounded like Chinese and in a few other idioms that Simon did not even recognize.

At first it had made him less nervous since it implied that Izaya did not have a peculiar grudge against him and did not wish to torment Simon alone. But over the years he realized that this was a misunderstanding on his part. If Izaya did not have anything personally against Simon that did not mean that he had no intentions of making things difficult for him; worse, Simon realized that odds were Izaya learned all those languages precisely so that he could upset as many people as possible. Izaya’s democratic treatment of everyone only meant that he fully expected to disturb them all in one way or another.

As far as Simon could tell Izaya was equally evil to everybody. It did not make Simon feel any better. But somehow it kept bothering him, the extent of languages that Izaya dominated. He wondered just how much of a polyglot Izaya truly was. Having had to master a second language as an adult Simon was very aware of how difficult it was even when one was immersed in the culture.

All this was on Simon’s mind when Izaya waltzed into Russia Sushi, waving as if he owned the place as he promptly took a seat at the counter.

“What can I get you, Orihara-san?”

Izaya’s never wavering smile made Simon rather ill at ease.

“The usual, ootoro. Make it fatty and thick like I like it.”

Simon kept an eye on Izaya even as he sliced the fresh tuna.

“Orihara-san, how many languages can you speak?”

“A few. I don’t keep track.”

“How did you learn them?”

Izaya washed his hands on warm small towels with deliberate slowness.

“I picked them up along the way.”

“Here, all ready Orihara-san.”

Izaya glowed and not for the first time Simon thought that there was something creepy about red eyes.

“Simon? I always eat nine slices. There are ten slices in this plate.”

“On the house, Orihara-san.”

“No can do. Get me some new fish.”

“Orihara-san? What is the problem, more fish is better.”

Simon was rather confused. Izaya always ordered at least two plates as it was and either way he would be having free extra food. But Izaya was not budging. Izaya leaned forward.

“Simon-san, haven’t you heard that ‘the costumer is king’? In Japan the costumer is more akin to an emperor. Get me new fish, will you?”

Izaya’s smile was more disturbing than even the veiled threat that Simon could feel lurking behind the lilting sing-song voice. One thing he had figured out about Izaya: the  
more formal and friendly he seemed the more dangerous he actually was.

“Alright, Orihara-san. Will be ready soon.”

“Wonderful. I know that I can always count on your services.”

Izaya managed to sail through this crisis without it even coming across that there was a problem at all. He often turned his compulsions into appearing to be unpredictably capricious. The truth of the matter was that ten pieces of tuna on a plate upset him. He could not explain it but it was another numerical pattern he simply disliked as he did prime numbered hours.

There were also color preferences, electing red vending machines whenever possible, never dressing in green no matter what, not eating pink smarties, having a tendency to step only on the white stripes on zebra crossings. Izaya wondered if there was some sort of inner logic to this and lost long hours contemplating the possibilities.

*

Izaya greatly enjoyed talking to Celty. It was highly amusing to freak her out (and surprisingly easy, too) and Izaya absolutely loved how he could mess with a supernatural creature. His love for humanity, as ironic and misplaced as it was, was vindicated in this. But there was another reason that had nothing to do with his many and convoluted plans and that was the fact that he could speak freely with her without having to bring himself to face any eyes.

In another twist of irony it was only in her presence that Izaya realized fully just how much of an effort it was to return everyone else’s gaze throughout the day. That was why Izaya always left with a sense of inner peace from these dialogues, no matter how charged with meanings they might be. Izaya could be completely at ease with her: for all his proclaimed affection for human kind it was only with a non-human that Izaya could fully relax.

Of course, this ease of his only upset Celty further. Izaya intensely appreciated it. The more she flailed the happier he was. This vicious cycle fully played to his strengths and with each encounter his dominance increased.

Izaya knew exactly where to find her. It was part of the job description to know the whereabouts of all major players and even couriers could be tracked as long as one knew how to go about it. Also, people were victims of routine and tended to stick to the same routes with almost disturbing predictability. So that while at first it might seem impossible to keep track of so many in such a bustling metropolis it was almost easy for Izaya.

He now parked himself on Celty’s trademark black bike and waited. Above the lights from the overcast cast an eerie kaleidoscope of yellow and red. Soon enough Celty arrived and did not wait for him to stop a friendly waving gesture but thrust the PDA in front of him.

[What do you want now?]

“Good evening. How are you? I just happened to be in the area so I figured I’d drop by.”

[Liar.]

Izaya chuckled. Dealing with Celty had another particularity, it challenged him to read her through body language. Izaya almost wished she was not so transparent in this area. Just by the stiffening of her frame and the way her fingers typed at light speed he could tell that she wanted him gone.

[And get off my bike]

Izaya obliged and made sure to land just within her personal space, leaning forward just slightly. He could even see the dark reflection on her helmet and he was pleased at his own sly smile.

“I just wanted to say hi and see how everything’s going.”

[I’m fine. If that is everything I’ll be going now.]

He waited until she was already mounted on the bike and ready to dash into the anonymity of the city.

“By the way, what do you think about the aliens in Ikebukuro?”

As Izaya fully expected she lingered.

[Aliens? What are you talking about?]

Izaya blinked and widened his eyes in very artificial surprise.

“I thought you had heard about it. Word has it that aliens have been seen in ‘bukuro late at night.”

Her finger shook slightly.

[Aliens? That’s just an urban legend. How could there be aliens around?]

“I suppose you’re right. Aliens can’t possibly be real. They must be an urban legend. As, say, the headless rider.”

Izaya could almost see her considering it despite herself. This was the critical point, when even those who opposed him were forced to come to terms with what tidbits he had to offer. And the beautiful part was that it is more due to their psychological makeup than anything else. All this Izaya predicted and set in motion.

[Why are you telling me this?]

Izaya shrugged.

“I thought that you had some interest in the subject. But if I am mistaken I will not bother you any further.”

More furious typing.

[Where did you hear this?]

“Hmm…I am sorry but I don’t divulge my sources.”

[You’re just making it up.]

But he could tell she was wavering.

“If you feel that the information I provide is untrustworthy then you need simply dismiss it.”

Which, now that she was reeled in and hanging on his every word, would not happen. Izaya was one to provide the illusion of freedom of choice to those unfortunate enough to raise his interest.

[Why would there be aliens in Ikebukuro?]

“Who knows? But I think it is more likely for extraterrestrials to visit Ikebukuro than go around the countryside making crop circles and applying anal probes on unsuspecting farmers.”

It was something of a flawed dichotomy but it worked. Celty hesitated.

[I suppose you have a point there. And with so many weird people around, it could happen…]

“Indeed. See you later, Celty.”

Izaya waved and merrily skipped away. His job for the night was done. He wondered if she would share this bit of fabricated information with Shinra. Either way, he was sure that it was bound to spread like most rumors did in a city built as much on hearsay as actual fact. As he waited for a sign to turn green Izaya mused over how the distinction between reality and fiction was not even all that distinct. Not that he believed in blurring the lines between otaku culture and the gritty daily grind on the streets, but there was such a thing as a self fulfilling prophecy. This matter with the aliens was just Izaya having fun as he knew best by messing up with someone's mind but he knew very well that all it took was to say that a certain color gang was in action to see said color gang spring up even if it did not exist up to that point.

It was exceedingly interesting. Izaya thought that it was both a case of herd mentality and of trying to bypass a mild case of cognitive dissonance. As so often was the case cause and effect did not interconnect in a simply chain but could only be followed through a series of distortions all the way to their source. And by then it might not even matter how something had started. Initiative was not half as important as dominance. And Orihara Izaya was in control.


	2. Chapter 2

Kadota hesitated before taking a more offensive stance. He knew that Izaya was not someone one could actually stalk, not even the van gang could help with that, but fortunately there remained one way of fishing for information about him. And that was the people Izaya interacted with.

And of course there were many of these. How many Kadota could not even begin to imagine and most of these were probably oblivious of it too. One thing that Kadota was beginning to realize was that Izaya was both a high profile personality in Ikebukuro and beyond and an invisible entity altogether. Izaya was in fact almost an urban legend.

In this Kadota had the upper hand since he had first-hand experience and could not possibly hold any doubts as to Izaya's existence. Which was not to say that he underplayed Izaya's pervasive power, on the contrary. It only made him more aware that Izaya was a very dangerous individual.

Before he decided to take this step he was about to take Kadota had to seriously reflect on what Izaya's reaction would be if he were to find out about him. Kadota had no idea. Izaya might actually brush it all aside with a laugh, or pretend to be pleased about it in that mocking friendly way of his, but then again he might very well dump Kadota on Tokyo Bay with cement on his shoes.

As he reflected more about it Kadota realized that this last possibility was unlikely. After all Izaya did not seem to monitor him in any way and Kadota felt that he was quite outside of his radar. And so Kadota made the decision of tackling a common acquaintance that had some connection with Orihara Izaya. Kadota booked a private room at Russia Sushi and waited for Kida Masaomi whom he had invited.

“Hello! So glad that you're treating me, Simon said that tonight the sushi is topnotch.”

Kida bustled with enthusiasm as usual and Kadota became rather reticent. He was unsure of how to approach the subject without causing Kida to clam up immediately and he was not looking forward to hurting Kida. But ultimately Kadota simply had to know.

“Kida-kun, can I ask you something?”

Kida was chewing on a nigiri and gulped it down in one go now.

“Do you want some tips on how to pick up chicks? Ah, I'm sorry but I don't share those. They are secret Kida Masaomi techniques! Of course the ladies are naturally drawn to me, I can't help it. Just yesterday-”

“I mean about Izaya.”

Kida nearly dropped his chopsticks. He laughed weakly and grew a few shades paler. Kadota could see that it took an effort for him to grip the chopsticks properly again.

“Izaya...? Oh, Orihara Izaya. The informant? I wouldn't know much about him. My, look at the time. I best be going.”

“Kida-kun, I know that you've been working for him.”

Kida was on his way out but this brought him back to sitting in front of Kadota, reluctantly enough. Kadota wondered at the sudden transformation. Kida dropped all of his breezy ways and seemed to contract into himself, becoming all awareness and suspicion. Before he addressed Kadota he made sure to look left and right as if he feared he was being spied and his eyes narrowed slightly but emphatically.

“Look, whatever you want to know I can't tell you. And you shouldn't be spreading this.”

It occurred to Kadota that the one thing he could use as leverage was blackmail.

“I don't want to know about Izaya's schemes or anything like that. I'm just curious about how he is as a person.”

“Wouldn't you know better than I do? I just work for the guy. You were his schoolmate.”

“Still. If you tell me a few things no one will know that you're working for Izaya, at least not from me.”

Kida considered his options with deliberate slowness. Kadota had a feeling that years were stacked on Kida.

“Fine. But I must make it very clear that I'm not saying a word about his activities.”

“Fair enough. Have you noticed anything particular about his apartment?”

“Particular? I don't follow.”

“You know, about the furniture and what he keeps there.”

Kida shrugged dismissively.

“Expensive furniture and the place is huge.”

“How about his clothes?”

“What about them? He has a closet full of those jackets and black clothing.”

Kadota started. Somehow he could not help thinking that this was a hint even if it seemed so unimportant at first glance.

“So he has a lot of the same jackets?”

“Yes. Don't ask me why, I guess he's just fond of fur.”

“What does he do for fun?”

“Troll people? I have no idea but it probably involves trolling.”

This was not very useful.

“Anything else?”

“Chess, I guess. And go.”

“Does he play with you?”

Kida chuckled bitterly and shook his head.

“No way. He plays online against a bunch of people at the same time. But I think he likes playing against himself better.”

“He does that?”

“Every now and then.”

Now this Kadota found most interesting. He jutted it down on his notepad. Kadota wanted to ask him about Izaya's schedule but it was all too obvious that it was off limits.

“Is there any behavior that is strange? That doesn't have to do with work, that is.”

Kida gave it some thought.

“He's a bit peculiar with numbers.”

“Numbers? What do you mean?”

“A while ago the phone company called, something about changing his number. Not that he uses the landline much. But he made a fuss about it. The new numbers were 'wrong'. I have no idea what he meant.”

“That is very strange indeed. Are there more things along those lines?”

Kadota was on the edge of the seat, hanging on to Kida's every word as veritable revelations.

“He complained about the same thing when he changed cell phones once. To the point he called the cell phone company to get them to exchange the card because the numbers were wrong.”

“Wrong? What does he mean by that?”

Kida shrugged.

“Your guess is as good as mine. Look, I admit that I work for the guy. Doesn't mean I like him nor does it mean I have some sort of deep connection. If you want that you may want to ask Yagiri Namie. But I advise against it and you didn't hear this from me.”

“I get it. Does he have any pictures at home?”

“None that I know of. He might have some in his bedroom. It's off limits so I wouldn't know.”

“I see. Do you notice much of a difference when he's at home as opposed to when he's out on the streets?”

For the first time since the dinner had taken a turn for the interview Kida smiled and even giggled.

“You make it seem like he's a whore. Then again, he kinda is, isn't he? And no, Izaya is the same no matter where he is, no matter who is screwing over and no matter how much he is screwing them over.”

Kadota had a feeling that Kida had been itching to vent all his grievances against Izaya.

“Would you say he's difficult to read, then?”

“Not difficult. Impossible. Haven't you noticed it yourself? The creepy smile, the way he makes you think he knows every single thing you ever done wrong- how the hell can anyone tell what he's really thinking?”

“Indeed.”

Kida seemed to suddenly snap out of it. He got up and nearly knocked down the low table.

“I am done answering questions. We never had this conversation, we had a great dinner tonight and then I went home.”

“Oh, sure. I wouldn't tell Izaya about this.”

To Kadota's surprise Kida sat down again and proceeded to attack some sushi with relish. It was as if a switch had gone on and turned Kida into a calculating person.  
Kadota could understand just why Izaya had picked Kida to work for him.

“He'll get you to tell him, rest assured. If he suspects you have something on him. You'll end up telling him every single thing before you know it. What, thought I'd storm out? No can do. He knows I'm here and if I dashed mid-meal it would look very suspicious. And you'll be paying for this, neh?”

Kadota wondered if some of Izaya's sly ways were rubbing off on Kida but was wise enough to keep silence on the subject.

“Aren't you being a bit paranoid?”

“No. No, I'm not.”

And that was almost the last Kadota heard of Izaya from Kida that night. With almost disturbing ease Kida was back to chattering about a thousand and one things at the same time, splurging on sushi and in apparent high spirits. It was only when dinner was over that Kida offered a final bit of information. He stood in the threshold and spoke without turning around.

“One more thing. When Izaya plays against himself he doesn't exactly follow the normal rules. I don't think it has anything to do with board games to him.”

*

Kadota could not help thinking that he could have drilled Kida in a more systematic way but as he reviewed his notes later that night he realized that he had uncovered an important part of Izaya's personality. As he was contemplating these things Heiwajima Shizuo took a stroll down the street, his mind wandering off to Izaya as well. At first Shizuo had not thought much of Kadota's investigation but it dawned on him that thanks to it he could now predict Izaya's advent. Assuming Kadota was on to something, that is.

It was with the intent of figuring this out that Shizuo took this stroll. And indeed, in no time he ran into Izaya. Instead of doing the usual chasing act Shizuo actually waved at him and he could see the briefest of hesitations in Izaya.

“It's about time you dropped by, huh?”

“Shizu-chan, good evening. I see that I find you in a sane mood. How refreshing.”

Shizuo smoked in silence, keeping his gaze fixed on Izaya. It was enough to make Izaya rather jumpy.

“Got some business around here?”

“It just happens that this is still Shibuya, technically. So I'm not intruding on your Ikebukuro turf.”

“Bet you were about to do just that.”

It was indeed Izaya's plan but it was completely foiled now.

“Is today a day off?”

“What, can't I go for a walk when I feel like?”

Izaya spread his hands in a placatory gesture that indicated he did not quite care.

“But of course you can. After all, this is a free country and Tokyo belongs to everyone.”

He waited for Shizuo to go off an angry rant about how Izaya was strictly forbidden from setting foot on Ikebukuro if he prized his life. It was one of those invariable elements on which Izaya could trust. Shizuo smoked some more in silence.

“I dunno what you're planning and you're more slippery than an eel but you know, you can't keep dodging forever.”

Izaya smiled with a hint of malice and made sure that he kept a solid security distance between himself and Shizuo. This kind of approach was not something Izaya expected but he was not an automaton and was already running through possible explanations and plans of action.

“Oh my, could it be that you are threatening me, Shizu-chan? Can't say that I like that. It's not very friendly.”

Izaya was ready to apply his switchblade if need be. But Shizuo merely shrugged and turned his back to him.

“I gotta go back. If you like 'bukuro so much then I guess you'll be coming back like the annoying bugger you are. But don't think that I don't know you're up to something.”

“Whatever could I be plotting?”

Izaya actually batted his eyes innocently enough.

“Beats me.”

“I'm just trying to make a living here. I honestly do not understand your hostility and-”

Shizuo halted as if he was about to charge and Izaya immediately backtracked into Shibuya territory.

“Jumpy, huh. I gotta kill you one of these days.”

Izaya wondered at the almost friendly tone and watched Shizuo disappear into the crowds for whom borders between Shibuya and Ikebukuro were not a matter of life and death. Izaya skipped into forbidden land, the concrete underneath him almost humming with the excitement he felt. The barrier here might be invisible for all practical purposes but to Izaya it was not only tangible as almost alive.

“How could I ever drag myself away?”

The rhetoric question was washed away by the ceaseless human tide.

*

Izaya perched himself at a pedestrian bridge and watched the flicker of lights switching from green to red to green again with a precision that he found most soothing. He knew that a computer orchestrated this mathematics of movements, introducing intervals and pauses at the exact moment and in proportion with the time for flowing. People slid along these streets and left on their wakes traces of energy that Izaya could almost trace at will.

He had the timing of the traffic lights just right so that he knew exactly when it would turn. This was his favorite time for this kind of observation: early evening, the sky still vestigial of the day as the night slid in to replace it with its pantheon of neon lights. He stayed long enough for darkness to fully descend and thus become the background to the rapid glitter.

Izaya could feel the city pulsating, its heartbeat was something that needed honed skill and instinct to bring it into the real of the observable. Reflections of this nature made him feel as if there was a special fate for him, that destiny had elected. Of course, this was not the destiny set in the stars- those were dim and frail, hardly a threat to the harsh city lights- but a destiny woven in the fabric of this crazed urban jungle. After all if there was a king to the realm sprawled before him in concrete and neon then it could only be Orihara Izaya.


	3. Chapter 3

Kadota had heard that Yagiri Namie was working for Izaya but it was still something of a shock to see her leaving his building and making her way across the street. Somehow he felt that finding her would be considerably more difficult. But of course it did not matter much since actually addressing her was out of the question. Kadota left in a hurry, dallying this close to Izaya's den was dangerous.

With each step he took into the labyrinth he felt that he was getting closer to peril. It only spurred him on. He took a moment to gather what information he currently had, wondering if Izaya proceeded just like this before acting.

“Wrong numbers...wrong how...”

Kadota still had Izaya's old cell phone number. He wrote it down and underneath this one the new. There should be something that both numbers had in common. Kadota tried to add each single digit and realized that in both cases he was left with an uneven number. It could mean something or nothing at all. Without a 'wrong' number to go by Kadota was left to wonder without making much progress, if any.

He abandoned this line of thought and turned to something else. Izaya's tampering with board games' rules. Kadota suspected that it was a mere symptom of Izaya's attitude toward life in general.

“Hmm...god complex?”

As if on impulse Kadota decided to challenge Izaya directly for a game.

*

“Go? I play it, yes.”

Kadota was very happy that his theory allowed to pinpoint where to find Izaya one fine afternoon. Taking advantage of the fact that they were former schoolmates Kadota approached him and got Izaya to join him for a cup of coffee. He noticed that Izaya added three spoonfuls of sugar and turned the spoon counter clockwise.

“Erika and the lot are dragging me to this marathon about some anime that's about the game and I don't want to just stare at the screen without getting anything.”

Izaya eased himself into the seat and smiled. Kadota wondered if this was a huge mistake, too great a risk.

“Eh? Is that so. But Dotachin, if you want to learn the basics you can easily google them.”

“Yeah, I know. But I figured you'd know a few nifty tricks that you could tell me. I want to impress the gang.”

Izaya took a sip and then put aside the cup.

“Alright. Fair enough. Let us pretend that this table is the board and that we are about to place the pieces. What do you suppose is the most important thing?”

“Strategical placement?”

“Wrong. That doesn't matter one bit. You see, Dotachin, it doesn't matter what you do to the pieces at all as long as you are the one moving them.”

Kadota blinked.

“I'm not sure I follow.”

“The trick is to stand in the position you are now. In other words, above the board and qualified to manipulate the pieces. Only the player can do that. But toil as you might, try as you may, strive all you want, as long as you are one of the pieces then you will not even realize that you are indeed part of the game.”

The threat was cleverly hidden under a veneer of pleasantry but Kadota suspected that this was the same tone he used with all his victims. Polite, conversational, even interested. For all Kadota knew Izaya was just as smooth and amused as he let girls jump to their death as rumor said he did. Kadota decided that he might all well see how much Izaya was willing to tell him.

“I don't think that'll do me much good when playing go.”

Izaya laughed.

“Perhaps not. If you want a proper lesson then why don't you drop by my place?”

“Thanks, that'd be great.”

It was much more than Kadota had hoped for. The opportunity for seeing Izaya in his natural environment was too great a chance to be missed. Without realizing it Kadota was beginning to see Izaya as something of a case study instead of an actual person. Then again, Kadota always had a hard time seeing the human element to Orihara Izaya. The irony was acute but for the time being Kadota was almost blind to it. He did his best to come across as nonchalant as Izaya saw him to the spacious living room.

“Quite a place you got here.”

“Ah, you've never been here before, have you? But thanks for noticing. Shizu-chan apparently failed to notice.”

And just like that Izaya cast some confusion into Kadota's idea of him. Never would he have guessed that Izaya would ever allow his arch enemy into the inner sanctum of his territory. Kadota must have let some of this let show because Izaya's smile grew broader and tossed himself into a plush black sofa.

“The chess things are in that closet.”

Kadota was very busy trying to take in the entire architecture of the room, comparing it to what Kida had told told him. No photographs, minimal and extremely expensive furniture, a subdued atmosphere that was very much like that of a high end office of a manager, the floor gleaming with the glitter of neon that edged its way through the panoramic window.

“Dotachin, how silly of me. You can't exactly use chess pieces to play go. Tsk, whatever was I thinking?”

Kadota was forced to let go of such appreciations to focus on Izaya himself. Suddenly, Kadota felt genuinely afraid. It did not last long. Perhaps a heart beat but Kadota was all too aware of it.

“Oh, right.”

“You must excuse me. I tend to mix board games.”

And indeed a board standing on a glass topped table attested to this strange promiscuity.

“Where's the go stuff?”

Kadota did not know if he could still save some face but he had to try. And of course Izaya was ever so amicable.

“In the closet next to it. Bring it over here.”

They settled in front of the low table surrounded by the sofas. Kadota expected that Izaya would settle for the desk and sit royally on his throne-like swivel chair but Izaya had something else in mind. Izaya explained the rules with indulgent patience and Kadota asked a few questions.

“How do you do it? Play it like that.”

Kadota waved at the bizarrely arranged board.

“Dotachin, I don't suppose I can join you guys at this anime marathon?”

Panic flared. Kadota scratched his head through the beanie, a gesture so transparent that he cursed himself.

“It's a very small place and it's already fully booked with a bunch of otakus.”

“Is that so? Such a shame.”

“Some other time.”

Izaya giggled and his eyes turned a sharper shade of red. It gave Kadota the distinct impression that he was being toyed with.

“Dotachin, are you planning on actually winning?”

For a breathless moment Kadota was sure that Izaya meant his research.

“Sure, yeah. That'd be nice.”

“Hmm...you're not going about it the right way.”

Another pang of borderline panic.

“What do you mean?”

“Go of course, go. That is the topic of our discussion, is it not? Or perhaps I am mistaken? You see, Dotachin, go is like life. Sounds like a tired cliché, doesn't it? But there is some truth to it. Just like in life in go you should always at all times aim to win. Not because it's 'nice'. I am sure that we understood each other.”

Kadota swallowed to get rid of the uncomfortable lump in his throat. Before he could bounce back Izaya broke into a harmless and even warm smile.

“Let's play a bit to see how useful my lesson was. I'll take the black pieces. Name your handicap.”

Kadota decided that he might as well take this chance. As much as Kadota wanted to keep a low profile and count on Izaya's loquacious ways he knew that he needed to prod some.

“Do you pick black normally?”

“Of course. I prefer black.”

“Because black moves first?”

Izaya picked a shiny black stone and tossed it in the air.

“Because it matches my jacket.”

Kadota flailed, a bit at a loss. He felt as if he was trudging uncertain territory with shifting rules that only Izaya could fix and change at any given moment. The only thing he could do was to take in stride or at least fake it.

“You tend to dress in black, I've noticed.”

“Have you now. I am flattered that my choice of wardrobe is of interest to you.”

Kadota scanned the board and Izaya. It was impossible to carry on this conversation and pay attention to tactics. For Kadota, that was. Kadota knew that Izaya was a genius strategist but it was the first time he was seeing it firsthand. Even in this defangled environment of polite game playing.

“It's just that you always wear black. Kinda hard not to notice it.”

“A bit like your beanie? But not always. I did have that one red shirt.”

Kadota scratched his head through said beanie.

“Oh yeah, I was forgetting that.”

“It matched my eyes.”

A bout of inspiration flitted through Kadota.

“Is that important? Matching stuff.”

“Hmm...I do care how I present myself, to some extent at least.”

Izaya advanced a piece across the board, silver shining against his long fingers.

“How about your rings? Where do they fit in this?”

Kadota should have predicted it but he never saw it coming. Without lifting his eyes from the board Izaya produced his switchblade apparently out of thin air. That was how it seemed to Kadota, a sudden after image flashing through the air, a flicker of the wrist and there it was. The blade poised with perfect stillness even as Izaya pored over the game as if he had a vested interest in the outcome.

“The rings match the blade, of course. See?”

Kadota nodded a bit too rapidly. He wondered how long it would take Izaya to kill him with this his favorite toy. A few seconds, tops. A swift slash across the throat was all it would take. He found that he could not swallow. Izaya retracted the blade and it disappeared with the same speed it appeared. Spirited away. It made Kadota think of Izaya as the grand magician conjuring up things as he pleased and making them evaporate in just the same way.

“My, Dotachin. You look rather pale. Let me fix me some tea.”

Izaya sauntered off to make arrangements. Leaving Kadota alone with the board.

“By the way, feel free to change the pieces around. It might make it more fun.”

He returned with aromatic Japanese green tea for two.

“You'd know the original positions anyway.”

“Oh? Would I. I wonder. I wonder how you knew that.”

With perfect neutrality Izaya took a sip. Kadota noticed that Izaya drank his tea in the traditional way, placing the cup on the palm of his hand and turning it around before bringing it to his lips.

“I just thought you'd know since you're good at go. I mean, you have a good memory.”

Izaya tilted his head to the side.

“Do you want to see just how good?”

“Sure.”

“Take that. Open it at any page. Tell which one it is.”

Izaya pointed to the phonebook. Kadota obeyed.

“Page 60.”

Izaya proceeded to prattle every single number. Kadota gasped, then became silent and almost livid. It was a good thing that Izaya monopolized everything with his smooth enumeration that was hesitation free because Kadota was not sure he could find his voice.

“-98989. Next page?”

Kadota swallowed. He felt slightly sick. And yet there was no reason to be this dismayed. But there was something nothing short of creepy in the effortless way Izaya calmly unwound number upon number and the names attached to each one.

“You...know the entire list by heart?”

“Who can tell? I suppose I could go through a few more pages but it would be boring, wouldn't it?”

Kadota nodded automatically. This was a clue but he did not know precisely what to make of it. Izaya served him another cup of tea. Kadota noticed that again Izaya turned his own cup before taking a sip.

“That's pretty...impressive.”

Izaya giggled. So at ease and in control that Kadota was positively uncomfortable. And then suddenly Izaya turned his eyes to him with a musing look.

“Say, Dotachin. Do you like me?”

Kadota literally flinched.

“Wh-what?”

“Don't read too much into it, please. It's a very simple question. I was just wondering if you like me. I'm not about to confess my undying love for you.”

But he might as well have been for the confusion it caused on Kadota. For all that Kadota knew it was a trick question but Izaya seemed earnest.

“Oh, sure. I mean, we go a long way back and all that.”

Izaya's smile changed into sadness.

“In other words, you don't actually like me but you put up with me since we've known each other for such a long time. I've been wondering why you never dropped by. That settles it, then.”

There was nothing hostile in Izaya's attitude. There was a weight on Kadota's chest and he realized what it was. For the first time Kadota felt sorry for Izaya. Genuinely sorry. He thought about the pristine apartment, the epitome of class and style and yet so utterly empty. There was no sense of a home within these walls. And he imagined Izaya playing his complicated games, playing everyone across Tokyo for his masterplan while being utterly alone.

“Izaya-”

“Thank you for at least not lying to me too much. You're too polite to tell it to my face that you don't like me but you won't pretend to like me. That's honest of you.”

Kadota hardly knew what to say. He wanted to leave but he could not leave things standing as they were.

“We can hang out if you'd like.”

“Ah. Indeed.”

“The Van gang thinks you're really cool.”

It sounded so pathetic that Kadota kicked himself inwardly. Izaya bounced and returned with a plate.

“Would you care for some cake? It's chocolate.”

“Sure, thanks.”

Eating was as good a way to cover up the awkward atmosphere as any other. Izaya took a portion of the cake as well. It was a rich spongey affair that oozed chocolate goodness.

“Good, isn't it? I got it at one of these new department stores.”

“Yeah. It's really great. Thanks for sharing.”

Daily routine somehow did not align with Kadota's idea of Izaya. Not even being classmates had ever given Kadota the impression that Izaya went about everyday things like everyone else. Buying groceries, paying the bills, shopping for clothes. But he saw it now.

“I enjoy the fine things in life. Oh, by the way. I almost forgot, if you're going to spy in front of my place try at least to stay outside the surveillance cameras' range. It makes Namie-san nervous to see people just hanging about.”

Kadota choked. Izaya offered him more tea.

“Spying is a bit- I mean, it wasn't like that-”

“You were just passing by? I suppose that is possible. After all, there are so many things that are possible. For example, it is possible that you actually want to find out about go. It is perfectly possible that you are attending a go related anime marathon. One cannot deny that it is...possible.”

Kadota's blood ran cold. Any sympathy he might have had for Izaya disappeared.

“I should be going now- it's getting late.”

“Bye bye, Dotachin. Take care!”

Izaya waved amicably. He smiled so widely that his eyes dimmed into almost invisible slits.

“See you later.”

“Don't forget to tell me how the marathon went. Neh?”

Kadota was careful not to let the door bang on his wake but as soon as he was outside the building and outside the range of those elusive cameras he could not help but break into a run. He knew that if this encounter had been a battle, in a way it was, he had surely lost but at the same time he had gained something. Information.

Things were beginning to click into place. He turned a corner and slowed down.

Needing time to process everything. Izaya had given him a clue, perhaps even intentionally but Kadota dismissed it for now. What Kadota saw as crucial and it came as a surprise was that he had just learned that talking could be exciting, dangerous and absolutely exhilarating.

This had been the first real conversation he had actually had with Izaya. Everything up to this point did not count. And realizing the power of a war of wits gave him more than an inkling into Izaya's self. It showed Kadota that one of the drives to Izaya was precisely this intellectual conflict and more, Kadota realized that he too could enjoy it. Of course now that he was out in the open and Izaya was not hovering about with half concealed threats it was easier to breathe and to look back with a thrill of excitement but there was more to it.

Kadota considered Izaya's character anew. The main reason why Kadota was allowed to go about his way unhindered by Izaya, directly or indirectly, was because he did not even register in Izaya's radar. Others who did feature on Izaya's agenda found themselves bogged down in one ordeal or another, Shizuo being the most obvious example but Kadota knew that if he probed in depth he would find more victims along the way. Kadota had just shifted the status quo by putting himself dead smack in Izaya's observation field.

Whether that was a smart move that would pay off in the long term or something to regret was still unclear but Kadota now had something very specific to observe, namely Izaya's future actions toward him. He slowed down even more and took a seat on a bench.

Kadota could not tell for sure but he had the impression that somehow Izaya sympathized with him. It was not something that Kadota had ever considered before. He had attributed Izaya's lack of overt hostility to indifference but he now wondered. And just as strange was the fact that Kadota found himself seeing Izaya as relatable. Maybe even potentially likable. Going along this line of thought he considered Izaya's love life. Of course Izaya did not have a girlfriend as far as Kadota knew he never had one. That was a given, Izaya was not one to indulge in close relationships of any kind. But there was no end to rumors about his many affairs with a plethora of girls.

Kadota thought about Yagiri Namie. There could be something there but it was impossible to find out for sure. Either way there was nothing official and that alone was interesting. If they were indeed involved then they opted to make it secret. Kadota did not precisely know. Perhaps Namie did not want her private life to at all be made public. There were many reasons and people had no shortage of them. But all of them were rooted on the natural assumption that there was more to Namie and Izaya than a work relationship.

Kadota veered off in another direction. All the gossip about Izaya's many one night stands and frequent orgies were always second or even third hand information. Girls sighed as they chatted about how a friend of a friend had had the time of her life with Izaya and why did such things never happen to them, they were simply so unlucky, like totally. No one ever claimed to actually have had a sexual encounter with Izaya. There were urban legends with more direct witnesses.

Kadota thought back to their high school days. He had never seen Izaya do as much as look at a girl with anything other than his broad interest in human beings at large. Not even in Okinawa with so many scantily dressed women prancing about had Izaya bothered to even cast them a passing glance. Kadota could be wrong but he doubted it. Of course, Izaya could pursue whoever he pleased when no one was looking but it was odd.

And since liking and hating were connected by being extremes Kadota decided to visit Shizuo again with a few more questions.

“Girlfriends? Who would want to date Izaya anyway?”

Shizuo sounded absolutely disgusted at the mere thought.

“Plenty of girls from what I've heard...but you don't know of any girl he's been involved with? As in, first hand info.”

Shizuo frowned and tossed his cigarette into a gutter.

“No clue. Kadota, just what is going on? Izaya this, Izaya that. The hell, you want to date him yourself?”

Kadota smiled weakly.

“I'm just curious about him, that's all.”

“Ruins my day even talking about that good for nothing flea. Guess there's the chick with the long hair. Isn't he doing her?”

“That's just it! People assume so but is there any evidence? At all?”

Shizuo shrugged.

“Maybe he's gay. Wouldn't surprise me. Gotta go now.”

Kadota was left to consider this possibility too. He mused about it at length but there was nothing to go by. It was most frustrating since Kadota felt that he was on to something. The deeper he probed the more he found himself admiring Izaya. How he could sieve through so many rumors to get to the heart of the matter, it was not a slimy affair about pulling strings. There was a superior intellect involved in whatever schemes it pursued. Kadota had always assumed that Izaya was ultimately flippant and indifferent to all things. But he now had his doubts.

Initially Kadota had planned to not interact directly with Izaya for a while to let the dust settle down. He ditched that plan. He did not want the thin connection he had established to thin away into nothingness. It was best to make contact, it would at the very least surprise Izaya. More, Kadota was looking forward to meeting Izaya. Not only as a chance of learning more about him but simply to have fun.

The same kind of fun one has at a rollercoaster.


	4. Chapter 4

“Dotachin? Didn't think I'd hear from you so soon.”

“Hi, I'm calling to invite you to watch the Evangelion movie.”

Kadota almost phrased it as a question.

“With the Van gang?”

“Oh, no. Just the two of us.”

A moment of silence on the other side. Kadota's hand sweated as he held the phone and he was absurdly nervous. He felt that he should perhaps be consolidating all pieces into a whole since he knew that there was some important bit that Izaya had divulged, intentionally or otherwise, but that was something he could always do later. It did not cross Kadota's mind that there was some wishful thinking involved. He needed to focus on Izaya completely.

“Eva, you say. Which of the movies?”

“There's more than one?”

Izaya burst out laughing.

“How amazing, Dotachin! To think that you've been hanging out with diehard otakus for such a long time and yet never learned something as basic as that. It must mean that you are truly friends.”

Kadota started. He was glad that Izaya could not see him.

“What makes you think that?”

“You don't share the same interests but you still have fun together. That proves it. I assume you want to see the most recent Eva movie? They're showing it again at the Sunshine.”

“Yeah, that one. How about Saturday?”

“There's a session at four.”

“Fine by me, can you make it?”

Kadota imagined Izaya spinning on his swivel chair next to the weird array of game board pieces and was glad he would be meeting him on neutral ground this time around.

“I'll be there.”

Izaya was indeed rotating but he came to a halt.

“Namie-san, what do you think about Kadota Kyohei?”

She did not even look up from the laptop.

“Who is that?”

“Ah-ah. Precisely. My point exactly.”

*

Izaya was already waiting for Kadota in front of the cinema. And Kadota noticed that he picked the uneven numbered seat for himself. Being unfamiliar with the Evangelion franchise apart from a general idea Kadota could not follow the movie at all. But he did enjoy the graphics and the music made them better. Topnotch animation through and through, it was a shame that Kadota could not make heads and tails out of it.

“Why Evangelion?”

It was after the movie and Izaya and Kadota sat on the a bench in front of the fountain.

“Thought you'd like it.”

“Because the cast of Eva is known for being rather disturbed if not downright psychotic?”

“I guess...I mean, don't you have a thing for humanity at its darkest?”

Izaya burst out laughing. Sundown haloed him.

“I suppose so. Thanks for inviting me. I usually go to the movies alone. This was the first time someone actually invited me.”

“Really?”

“So, what did you think about the movie?”

Kadota noticed the not too subtle change of topic.

“Looked great but I didn't understand much of it.”

“That is to be expected since you are an Evangelion virgin. You can always learn about it via your otaku buddies.”

“Do you have the DVDs? Of the series, I mean.”

Izaya blinked.

“I do but I did not bother getting the latest release. Gainax is always releasing new formats to milk the fanbase. I am sure that Erika or Walker are bound to have it.”

Again Kadota scratched his head through the beanie.

“I suppose but I'm sure your opinions will be more interesting.”

Immediately Kadota knew that this was a mistake. Izaya's friendly ways grew cold and the smile wider and sly.

“Ah, everyone has a theory about Eva.”

“Seems like it.”

“The new pilot was rather familiar. Except Mairu is considerably crazier.”

It was Kadota's turn to laugh.

“Would you sister sing as she pilots a giant robot?”

“Without a doubt.”

“That is pretty crazy.”

“Dotachin, is Shizu-chan your friend?”

Kadota was caught aback and confused at something too close to jealousy that he did not at all expect.

“Sure. I'm friends with Shizuo.”

“Why?”

“Why...?”

“What makes him your friend? Correct me if I am mistaken but doesn't he ignore you more often than not?”

“That's just the way Shizuo is.”

Izaya was silent for a while, his smile cryptic and fading into nothingness. Kadota realized that without the perpetual grin in all its many variations Izaya was a very sad young man.

“Yet he is your friend and I am not.”

“Oh, it's not like that.”

As if on cue Shizuo just so happened to be taking a stroll in the area. Izaya jumped to  
his feet.

“I'm afraid I am not welcome here and must take my leave. See you later, Dotachin.”

And with this Izaya leaped out of sight. Kadota was still trying to find him amidst the crowd but there was only a flutter of fur. Shizuo stood frowning at Kadota.

“That was the flea, I'm sure. What the hell is he doing here in 'bukuro when I told him-”

“Oh give it a break, will you?”

Shizuo dropped his cigarette. Kadota was surprised himself. His perspective was shifting without his being able to counter it. He thought about all the vending machines that Izaya had dodged by sheer luck and that threatened Izaya's entire existence because Shizuo flew into fits of rate at the mere sight of him.

“I knew this would happen, you start talking to that louse and he'll fill your head with lies, that's what he does, don't fall for his fancy talk. He's just here to piss me off anyway.”

“Actually I invited him.”

“The hell...?”

Kadota sighed in annoyance. It occurred to him that Shizuo was far too used to never getting anyone to show any discontent around him for fear of the consequences.

“I was trying to have a conversation with Izaya but no more.”

“Oy, Kadota. You gotta stay away from that bastard. I'm your friend in this.”

Normally Shizuo did not get into such emotional talk but he felt the situation called for it. Kadota stared at him for a long time. As if seeing him for the first time.

“I wonder about that.”

It crossed Kadota's mind that unlike Izaya he could not invest in digging out information about a person without becoming attached. Even if the person just so happened to be Orihara Izaya.

*

It was more a whim than anything else that led Kadota to stop by a host club to ask a few questions. He was unsure of what he expected to find but the question of Izaya's sexual orientation had taken the forefront in his research. Whether this was in any way connected with the fact that by subtle but undeniable degrees Kadota was gravitating toward a more personal investigation was not something he had contemplated.

Kadota was focused on unraveling Izaya's character. Further considerations felt to him as lost effort and wasted energy. Kadota could be very methodical as long as he had one thing in mind to which he dedicated his entire attention. It was this lack of a wider perspective that limited his influence as a power player. Others might deem it an intellectual shortcoming but it was merely a matter of personality.

But if the subject he was pursuing just so happened to have connections a bit all over the city, as Izaya did, then Kadota was just the right one to connect each dot. After all, it had taken him to this shady part of town. Neon light swooned garishly across the oily darkness across the street. Kadota took a moment to reflect on how unreal this city could be with its artificial everything.

Then he returned to the subject at hand as he headed to a narrow alley that ran along the back entrance of the club. There was an entire labyrinth cutting a net through the fabric of concrete and Kadota wondered if it was possible for Izaya to know his way in them all. To someone who could memorize an entire phonebook there was no telling what other feats of memory might not be possible.

Izaya was far from being a normal person so there was no reason to assume that his sexual preferences ran along the majority's. Also, Kadota wanted to know if Izaya actually had such a thing as a sexual inclination at all. If it was true that Izaya had remained unaffected by very hot girls back in Okinawa it was also a fact that he had showed no reaction toward the many hot guys. Of course perhaps it was Izaya simply being secretive. There was no way of telling. Unless one investigated.

It was Friday night and already pushing into dawn. Kadota approached the club as it was about to close. He did not precisely know why a host club should be a place where Izaya picked partners for one night stands but it was as a good a starting point as any other. Besides, host clubs catered to anonymous encounters of that kind.

As it turned out Kadota was in luck.

“Orihara Izaya? Ah, the informant. Gorgeous guy, isn't he? No, I never had the pleasure of getting it on him but one of our guys has. Curse my luck.”

“Do you have this friend's number?”

“Sure. If you can get him to talk, pry for Izaya's contact, will you?”

“I'll see what I can do.”

“Thanks a bunch. Just drop by to let me know if you find out something.”

Kadota scratched his head through his beanie. So it really was that simple as just asking and in a roundabout way, too. All that Kadota had asked was whether he knew Orihara Izaya. He wondered what kind of life these flashy night people lived. One in which handing out cell phone numbers to strangers was apparently routine.

He contacted his prospective source the following day. A fey looking fellow who immediately shook his head.

“That wasn't me. It was a friend of a cousin of mine that works in Roppongi. I wish it was me...”

Kadota realized that it was the exact pattern. Female or male Izaya's alleged partners were all misty creatures dimly connected to the person that once materialized could only forward the inquirer to another link in a chain that Kadota believed would eventually bring him to the very first link if he bothered following it long enough.

Still, he was not back on square one. None of the pretty boys whom Kadota had interviewed had expressed any doubt that Izaya did swing in that direction. It could be simply conceit on their part by thinking themselves irresistible but the fact remained that word on the street had it that Izaya's sexuality was as fluid as it was rampant.

And yet Kadota suspected that it was neither.

*

It hardly seemed possible for someone so desirable- Kadota felt more than a bit awkward as each host praised Izaya's looks in a most longing manner- could at all be promiscuous without Kadota having met a single person who had any firsthand experience on the subject.

For the time being he abandoned this line of thought. A bit of research informed him that there was such a thing as photographic memory. People who by simply glancing at a page would retain every single word and keep it locked in their mind for as long as they lived. It explained much but it still did explain why Izaya had bothered with the phonebook at all. After all, he could hardly memorize that which he had never seen before and Kadota could not understand why anyone would learn by heart rows upon rows of numbers.

Unless Izaya did it to show off. Perhaps he pulled off this stunt every now and then to cause an impression on clients or victims (and these two were bound to overlap). But if that was so it would have become a legend by now. Which left Kadota to wonder if Izaya was deliberately giving him a clue that he was supposed to solve on his own.

*

He decided to tackle Shinra next. After all, Shinra had known Izaya the longest and it was an avenue that sooner or later need be explored. Kadota was just not sure how to get around to it. As it turned out he did not have to contact Shinra.

“Shizuo mumbled to Celty who told me about it. You're looking into Orihara-kun?”

“Something like that.”

“Hmm...not the wisest thing to do. People who get interested in him tend to meet with mischief. As you can imagine Shizuo sort of ordered me to give you a lengthy lecture on the matter. But you're a grown man and doing such a thing feels tasteless. So, why the sudden interest?”

Kadota scratched his head.

“I can't explain it myself.”

“My final warning: you can't 'play' Izaya without it changing you forever. I'll leave it at that.”

Shinra was not one to argue with someone's resolution and he could tell that Kadota would not be shaken from his purpose.

“So, can you tell me how he was when you first met him?”

“Pretty much as he is now. Sleazy, always with a scheme, lurking in the shadows.”

“You're his oldest friend, aren't you?”

Shinra finished a cup of coffee.

“No, he doesn't have any friends. I suppose I was his friend, at one point, but Orihara was never my friend. Ever.”

It did not escape Kadota that Shinra omitted the honorific. He could discern a certain bitterness that could very well be the result of a nasty fallout.

“Do you think he really loves humanity?”

“Yes and no. Sure, he loves 'humanity' as a concept. He doesn't at all love 'humanity' in the actual people he screws over.”

“Did he have a crush in middle school?”

Shinra looked puzzled at this particular line of questioning but he said nothing about it.

“Not that I know of.”

“Would he tell you if he did?”

“Probably not. But if you ask me he's asexual. All the talk about his many flings is just talk.”

“I got that impression as well...seems like you've given it some thought.”

Kadota was surprised that it was so. It was almost disappointing that someone had beaten him to the punch.

“I've wondered about him. What made him the way he is. Can't say I ever found out. Maybe you'll fare better.”

Kadota suddenly found himself very reluctant to share the information he had already acquired. But it was for a greater cause.

“Did you notice anything about how he feels about numbers?”

Shinra blinked and adjusted his glasses.

“I thought I was only one who had spotted that. You mean how some numbers are 'wrong'?”

Kadota moved forward until he was sitting at the edge of the seat.

“Yes, that. What is up with that?”

“I have no idea. But he dislikes even numbers, in some cases prime numbers freak him out and he had that paranoia with his school locker combination.”

“Locker combination?”

“You didn't know about that? I suppose you wouldn't. You didn't seem to pay much attention to Orihara-kun back then. He changed his combination every week. Always on a Friday. It drove me insane with curiosity. I kept wondering what exactly he kept in the locker. Since this is Orihara-kun we're talking about. It could be just about anything from drugs to human parts in formaldehyde."

“Did you find out?”

“Oh yes. One day they had a locker search and I saw it alright.”

“What was it?”

Kadota was vaguely annoyed, Shinra was obviously being reticent for effect and it was working.

“School stuff. Books, pencils, an extra pair of school shoes.”

Disappointment washed over Kadota. Only now did it occur to him that had it been something strange he would of course have heard about it.

“That was it?”

“That was it. To be honest it drove me insane. Why bother changing the combination like that for no good reason? To make people think you have something hidden? That's my bet but I just can't tell for sure. But he did tell me something.”

“What?”

“Why he changed it only on Fridays. 'Because it's Friday [kin youbi], see?', he said and tapped at the locker. It took me a few moments to get it. 'Kin' as in 'metal', same stuff the locker is made of.”

“That is...weird.”

“And I'm not even sure he wasn't telling the truth. That's the thing with Izaya, you can never tell for sure.”

Kadota was silent. This much was true but he had to wonder at the undertone of bitterness. Perhaps Shinra had reasons for hating Izaya as so many people seemed to have but it seemed less obvious than that. He might as well make a go for it.

“How do you feel about him?”

Shinra blinked rapidly and adjusted his glasses.

“He's annoying and I'd rather he did not cause so much trouble.”

This was Kadota's cue to leave. Whatever had happened between Izaya and Shinra remained a mystery but it was tangible that something had happened. Kadota was turning this over when Celty stopped to say hello and he had to take this opportunity.

[Izaya? Well, he's, you know...Izaya. He creeps me out. And what is up with the nails?!]

“Nails?”

[I remember he got into a row with Shizuo back at high school and dropped by our place. For treatment, I suppose, that much I get but then he got Shinra to manicure his nails! If you ask me, Izaya is just crazy. And evil. I don't like him at all]

Celty shivered as if the mere thought of Izaya caused her to physically cringe. Maybe it did. Kadota wondered just why Shinra would at all do such a thing but that was not something he could ask.

“Shizuo's been after Izaya for ages now. Don't you think it's a bit too much? I mean, throwing vending machines at someone...that's just not something a sane person would do.”

She shook her helmet forcibly.

[Kadota, Izaya is an evil man. Can't you tell? The way he treats people, it's just horrible. And he uses everyone]

Kadota mused.

“Sure. But there's always an exit way. The pawns can avoid the trap. They can. Maybe they won't but Izaya gives them the option. I'm not saying he's an angel but it's just convenient to blame him for one's flaws and just say it's all Izaya's fault. The pieces can move themselves on the board but being hit by a vending machine doesn't leave the people the chance of doing that.”

[Shizuo never killed anyone]

“Neither has Izaya.”

[We don't know that]

“Maybe 'we' don't. But I do.”

*

Kadota had to ditch the Van gang to stay home and do some research. He was engaged in this when the doorbell went off. Kadota tried to ignore it but it insisted. With a sigh

he roused himself from the laptop.

“I told you guys, I'm busy tonight- oh, Izaya-”

“Hello, Dotachin. Is this a bad time?”

It was.

“No, not at all. Did something happen?”

Perhaps he had been too transparent in fishing out information about Izaya. Any of the hosts could give a description of him that Izaya was sure to recognize immediately.

“I just dropped by to share my copies of Eva the manga.”

Kadota busied himself making room for Izaya to sit.

“Oh, thanks a bunch. There's a manga? I didn't know. Do you want something to drink?”

Kadota was aware that he was talking too fast. There was something disturbing in having Izaya smoothly placed in Kadota's own home ground. Kadota felt no advantage, he had the keep impression that Izaya was assessing everything and drawing inferences from every single object around him.

“Japanese tea if you have any.”

“Sure, I'll get it done in a jiffy. Is the manga also, you know, messed up?”

“I will let you find out by yourself. I brought you all volumes published thus far.”

Izaya proceeded to produce a few books from a tote back. He placed them in an orderly pile and Kadota noticed that he did not even remove them randomly, each book appeared in its proper order and was neatly stashed.

“It's still running?”

“Yes and there is no end in sight either. I suspect that even when it does end there is will be a rebuild of sorts yet again.”

Kandota handed him a cup and Izaya turned it on the palm of his hand. Such a traditional gesture in someone so outside the flow of normality. Kadota found himself fascinated by it.

“So you're into manga?”

“It depends. I am fond of a couple of titles. Evangelion, Litchi Hikari Club, Goth, Battle  
Royale, Narutaru, to name a few.”

“Naruto...?”

Izaya giggled.

“Na-ru-ta-ru. It is a small difference in phonetics but all the difference of the world in terms of everything else.”

“What's it about?”

“It starts off as Pokemon and then veers into Eva territory but may be even more 'messed up' as you would put it.”

Kadota was immediately curious.

“That sounds pretty weird.”

“It works remarkably well. If you want I can lend you my collection.”

“That'd be great, thanks a lot.”

Izaya laced his fingers together and leaned forward ever so slightly. It was enough to claim domination over the environment. Then with a fluid motion that made Kadota slightly dizzy Izaya jumped to his feet and proceeded to study the neat bookshelves.

“You are quite a reader, aren't you? It is said that you can learn a great deal about someone by what they read.”

“I suppose that makes sense.”

“Indeed. But knowing what one reads is not enough. Unless you know why one reads it then you will every bit in the dark as before. Perhaps even worse, you may be led to a misconception about one's character. For example, I don't enjoy Narutaru because I am a twisted individual but because I have a keen interest in abnormal states of the human psyche when placed under duress. The world is a rather unforgiving place.”

Just like this Izaya scattering hints strewn in cryptic allusions. And Kadota had his doubts as to whether Izaya was not indeed rather twisted.

“But it doesn't have to be realistic?”

Izaya's eyes widened slightly.

“A very good question. The situations in themselves, no. It is people's reactions I am interested in, be it in reality or in fiction. That is why the majority of manga is simply boring to me. Characters react according to patterns that the genre sets for them. But if the content in itself is rather dull the expectations it creates, the fact that they resonate with the public, that is absolutely precious to me.”

It lasted only a split second but Kadota was genuinely chilled.

“More tea?”

“Why, thank you.”

Izaya switched to harmless friendliness, turning the cup anew.

“People's reactions...like their behavior and what's behind what they do.”

“Precisely. For example, suppose that there is someone trying to learn about you. The question, why is this person acting this way. There are of course many possibilities. Maybe this person wants to be friends with you albeit in a roundabout way, maybe this person is curious about just what it is that you so, maybe this person wants to take you down and needs ammunition. Who can tell?”

Kadota forced himself to smile. It was difficult.

“I guess only the person would know.”

“I wonder about that. The person might not quite know.”

“I don't see how that could happen...”

Kadota scratched his head through the beanie. The gesture was transparent, it showed that he was nervous but he could not help it.

“One of the most interesting things about human motivations is that they change. You start doing something for a reason and before you do it your reasons have changed. It can happen by slight degrees over years so that you don't even realize it. Or it can happen suddenly. But I assure you, Dotachin...that it does happen.”

Izaya took a deliberately slow sip. Kadota cleared his throat.

“Sorry, I can't see it. Got an example?”

It was a risk but when cornered it was at times best to be bold. Kadota suspected that Izaya appreciated it, too.

“A mundane one. You begin talking to someone and wanting to find out more about a person because you want to become friends and before you know it you fall in love. I have heard that such things happen. Can't say that I've experienced it myself, though. But I am hardly the measure of average people, now am I?”

Kadota licked his lips.

“I don't think you'd be interested in that kind of thing. Since it's so normal.”

“True. It is very normal indeed. But there is something to be said about 'normal'. It's against the pattern of 'normality' that we decide upon deviation. One might think that the two are on opposite sides but they are deeply interconnected. And what may be normal in a setting may be pure deviance in another. What is normal to a person may be absolutely outrageous for someone else.”

Kadota made a split decision. If he had thought about it he would never have been able to say it.

“Like even numbers. To most people it's all the same, to some it's as if they're a barrier.”

Izaya grew sly but Kadota was sure that he had just scored a point. Whether that was a good thing was still up in the air, though.

“Most human societies that have developed a higher form of civilization have created a form of numerology.”

“You mean like 'four' being an unlucky number?”

“Precisely. That is a linguistic quirk peculiar to our language.”

Kadota wondered if Izaya was hiding himself behind a barrier of sheer knowledge. But this was an unexpected opening.

“You know a lot of languages, don't you?”

“I've picked it up along the way. Tokyo is peopled by all sorts of nationalities.”

“But it must take talent to learn them so easily.”

“All human languages are essentially the same. Once one grasps that it all becomes clearer.”

“Still...”

Izaya finished his cup and had a refill. Again the cup turned. Kadota watched almost fascinated. It could very well be that Izaya was unable to not perform this particular ritual. Such a tiny thing but there were others. And if they accumulated they could become major obstacles.

“It is erroneous to see languages are primarily means of communication. “

“It is?”

“Languages are first and foremost the way in which humans think. How they process information. Mathematics is a language too in that respect. Only then does communication take place. Of course, the process is often almost simultaneous but the words you say are first formed in your mind.”

“I never thought about it that way.”

“But you have given it some thought, haven't you?”

“I guess...not in the way you have, I'm sure.”

“Hmm...you're cleverer than you let show. That can be smart in itself but it is a rather safe way of living life.”

“Do you like taking risks?”

“Calculated ones.”

“I'm not too sure I know what it is that you do, exactly.”

“I barter information.”

“But what does that actually mean?”

Izaya smiled.

“A very good question. Information is a liquid commodity, it can be anything. Its content, its very nature changes how information is to be bartered.”

“It sounds complicated.”

“The trick is realizing that there is order amidst the chaos.”

Kadota nodded. There was still much he did not know about Izaya but he was beginning to see that he need stay alert to patterns. Kadota needed time to process things. As if sensing this Izaya sauntered to the door.

“I'll walk you out.”

“No need for that, Dotachin.”

“Thanks for the manga.”

“You're welcome. Your otaku friends may be a bit disappointed that you're expanding your manga horizons with me instead of them. Then again, you don't have to tell them.”

Izaya's smile was rather sly.

“Why wouldn't I tell them...”

“That is not for me to decide. Bye now.”

And just like that Izaya was gone. Kadota stared at newly vacant space for a long time. Sharing secrets, even if of the innocuous type, formed a certain bond. This was one of Izaya's powers, suggestion. Izaya did not issue orders instead he planted a suggestion and had only to see how personality and circumstances worked on it to produce the desired effect. It was both subtle and blatant at the same time, a paradox that seemed to embody Izaya's very character.

Kadota could feel it now in his person. Nothing stopped him from giving the Van gang a call and telling them that Izaya had dropped by to lend him a few manga titles, Kadota could even discuss Eva and the rest with them but he knew he could not bring himself to do it. Without a doubt, there was an exit route but it was not one Kadota was willing to take. And this was Izaya's prime tactic of using people's peculiarities to direct them through the labyrinth of choice.

*

Kadota ended up checking out Litchi Hikari Club first. It was a one volume deal and he had not even heard about it so he was rather curious. He read it in one go and had to take a shower afterward. Izaya's words echoed in his mind. More than anything it mattered why one read something. And Kadota could tell why Izaya had read this particular title. It catered to many things Izaya loved: twisted individuals, warped ideas, emotional breakdown, manipulation. But Kadota could not help wonder if Izaya viewed the sexual content from the same vantage point that he approached the violence.

Kadota knew that Izaya was not the violent type. Switchblade or not, if Izaya were to employ direct and overt violence it would be in self-defense. Which made him turn once more to Shizuo's rampant behavior and how it was accepted as matter of course by his friends. It was highly unfair.

Kadota shook his head forcibly and told himself to snap out of it. He was straying. What he needed to do was invest on ways to unravel Izaya, not to become friends with him. Then again, getting to see things from Izaya's perspective might do more for Kadota's ultimate quest then all the pondering on weird numbers and other quirks. It might teach Kadota what the number obsession actually meant. And that was what really mattered.

*

“One thing's for sure, I'll never be able to look at litchi fruits the same way ever again.”

Izaya laughed at this.

“Then I'm sure the manga fulfilled its purpose. The mangaka is working on a prequel.”

“I'd like to read it. Finding out how things got to the point they did, it may be interesting.”

Izaya nodded.

“Indeed. We all have our past and fictional characters, when done right, do as well. And humans are creatures dominated by their past even when they fight against it. That alone is already acknowledging the power of the past.”

Kadota thought about their own past. There was no point in dwelling on wasted opportunities at this point.

“You don't seem to have changed much since high school.”

Izaya ordered a litchi icecream dessert. They had just finished dinner at a high end restaurant in Roppongi. At first Kadota had been intimidated by the sleek environment, white walls mellowed by shaded lamps of several colors, but soon enough he was too engrossed in Izaya's conversation.

“Is that so? You may have a point. I am not too keen on changing myself.”

“Yeah. Is there a reason for that?”

“Perhaps I am perfect. And perfection cannot be improved upon, now can it?”

Izaya smiled amicably and took a spoonful of creamy icecream. Kadota could not tell if it was a joke or not. Izaya relished in making people have to guess.

“Is that why you don't like even numbers? Because they're rounded and in that way, perfect?”

Izaya shrugged dismissively.

“Dotachin, I'm afraid your friends are rather worried about you. Apparently they believe that I am a nefarious influence of sorts. Who knows, maybe I'll persuade you into  
jumping to your death. Just kidding.”

Izaya's smile was somewhat ambivalent.

“As long as I don't have to swear loyalty to you.”

“'Zera, Zera, Zera' style? No need to worry about that. I never expect anyone to actually be loyal to me. Besides, you're Shizu-chan's buddy. That means I'll always come second place if at all.”

“That is-”

“Don't worry. I won't put you in a conflict of interests. But if you find yourself in such a bind it might be best to keep in mind that it was of your own doing. Not mine. Now, can I interest you on some litchi icecream? It is very refreshing.”

Kadota could hardly catch his breath as Izaya switched from borderline ominous to simply mischievous.

“I think I'll pass. Still traumatized over the litchi.”

“Heh, I see. That's too bad. Meal is on me, Dotachin. And I wanted you to have the very best. It's not every day I get to share a meal with a quasi-friend.”

“'Quasi-friend'? That's a strange way of putting it...”

“How would you put it, then?”

“Just...friend. 'Quasi' makes it sounds a bit...”

“A bit wrong? A bit as if you were just trying to gain my trust for some ulterior motive? Dotachin, have you ever heard of the 'Categorical Imperative'?”

“Doesn't ring a bell.”

“It is an ethical principle enunciated by the philosopher Immanuel Kant. The precise way it is spelled out is somewhat technical: 'Act only according to that maxim hereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become an universal law' but it can be boiled down to, 'treat others as an end in themselves and not as means to achieve an end'. Now, Dotachin do you think that you can say you are following this principle with me?”

Kadota was glad that they were in public. It helped him not to sink under dismay. Just when he began to get comfortable around Izaya, Kadota was shown the errors of his way. He decided to be vague about it.

“Does anyone ever actually follow it?”

Izaya leaned over, his eyes twinkling in a disturbing manner that reminded Kadota of a snake luring its prey.

“Precisely. I contend that no one does. Take people who are helpful and all around dedicated to making others happy. One might think that they are indeed seeing others as ends in themselves but that is a naïve conclusion. They help people because they like doing it. It makes them happy, sends endorphins coursing through their blood and lights up the feel good centers in their brain. Ultimately, it is a selfish motivation. They delude themselves into believing that they are ever so selfless and that of course feeds the cycle. And if I am not mistaken, Dotachin, you have experienced this at least on one occasion. Shall you prove me wrong for once?”

Izaya was so sly that Kadota shivered. Kadota was not planning on reflecting about himself but Izaya could be a twisted mirror of sorts, the more one peered into it the more of oneself one saw and in the darkest colors possible.

“Yes, I know what you mean. Helping others makes people happy.”

“Isn't it interesting? But Dotachin, I did not ask in general terms. I asked about you in particular.

“It has happened to me, yeah.”

Izaya giggled.

“Nothing I did not know so far, no new information. How about you indulge this instinct of yours and tell if being 'friendly' with me is your way of doing me a favor of sorts and thus a way of 'helping me'?”

Kadota blinked. For once Izaya was so utterly off that he did not know what to say.

“No, being with you is fun. I mean, I have fun.”

“Hmm...so would you say that you 'like me' now?”

Izaya used air quotes and all.

“It's difficult to answer when you ask that way. I'd feel stupid saying that I like you when you're being so sardonic.”

Izaya gazed off into empty space in some vague direction that was off center from Kadota and thus made him nervous.

“So, do you want to be my friend for real? Be careful how you answer that, Dotachin. I can see through lies but that is not your greatest problem. You have a conscience and rest assured it will come back to haunt you if you lie. Then again, wouldn't that be fun for me!”

Kadota did not get angry easily but he was angry now.

“Doesn't matter if I want to be friends with you or not, it's obvious you do not want to be friends with me.”

“Oh? What else is new? Or did you truly believe that I was starved for affection and so in need of a friend?”

“That wasn't it.”

Izaya relaxed into a smooth smile.

“Wonderful, then. Here is to us using each other for our mutual benefit.”

He picked up a glass and offered to toast. Kadota toasted back as if in a daze, unsure of whether he had scored a point here or lost massively.

“By the way Dotachin, do you know why this wine is red? I mixed my blood in it and now you are part of me.”

“Izaya-”

“Just kidding. But if I were to compare you with someone from the Litchi Hikari Club it might very well be Tamiya.”

“And you're Zera...?”

Izaya laughed.

“No, not at all. I'd be the mangaka.”


End file.
